How to Handle a Counter Offer

You accepted a new job. You gave notice. And now your manager is sitting across from you (or on a Zoom call) with a counter offer that matches—or beats—what you're walking away for.

This is the moment where most people panic and make a decision they'll regret. Because counter offers are emotional, and emotions make for terrible career decisions.

Here's what I've learned watching hundreds of engineers navigate this exact situation at Google, Meta, Amazon, and everywhere in between: the right answer isn't about the money. It's about why you were leaving in the first place.

The Brutal Truth About Counter Offers

Let's start with the data you need to know:

Those numbers should tell you something: counter offers are usually a short-term fix to a long-term problem.

Why Companies Make Counter Offers

Before we talk about what you should do, understand why companies counter. It's rarely about your irreplaceable value.

Reason 1: Replacing You Is Expensive and Slow

The real cost of replacing an engineer:

• •Recruiting costs (recruiter time, interview time, etc.): $10K-30K
• •3-6 months to find, hire, and onboard someone new
• •Lost productivity during the gap and ramp-up period
• •Risk that the new hire doesn't work out
• •Team morale impact and potential domino effect of others leaving

A $20K raise is cheap compared to that. It's a business decision, not a declaration of your worth.

Reason 2: It Buys Them Time

Here's the cynical truth: some companies counter knowing you'll probably leave anyway. But if they can keep you for another 6-12 months while they find your replacement on their timeline instead of yours, that's a win for them.

I've seen this play out dozens of times. Engineer accepts counter. Six months later, they're "restructured" or their role is "eliminated" after the company hired their backfill.

Reason 3: You're in the Middle of Something Critical

If you're the only person who knows how a critical system works, or you're mid-launch on something important, they need you to stick around. Once that's done? Your newfound value might evaporate.

The Decision Framework: Should You Accept?

Forget the money for a second. Let's figure out if accepting is the right call.

When to Actually Consider Accepting

Look, I'm not saying never accept a counter offer. But the situations where it makes sense are narrow:

If you checked all or most of those boxes, accepting might make sense. But be honest with yourself— don't rationalize what you want to believe.

When to Decline and Move On

These are the situations where accepting a counter is almost always a mistake:

What a Good Counter Offer Actually Looks Like

Not all counter offers are created equal. Here's what a real, sustainable counter looks like versus a Band-Aid:

How to Decline a Counter Offer Professionally

Decided to decline? Here's how to do it without burning bridges.

If You Do Accept: How to Make It Work

Decided to accept the counter? Here's how to set yourself up for success instead of regret:

The Uncomfortable Questions

Before you decide, sit with these questions for 24 hours:

The Bottom Line

Counter offers are flattering. They make you feel valued. They're also usually a short-term fix to deeper problems.

The statistics don't lie: most people who accept counter offers leave within a year anyway. Because the fundamental issues—limited growth, bad culture, boring work, broken processes— don't get fixed with a salary bump.

If money was literally the only reason you were leaving, and the counter brings you to market rate sustainably, maybe it makes sense. But be honest with yourself about all the other reasons you started looking in the first place.

Whatever you decide, decide with your eyes open. Know what you're getting into, what you're giving up, and why you're making that choice.

Because the worst outcome isn't making the wrong decision—it's making a decision you don't understand, then regretting it six months later when you can't take it back.